


what we will never be

by SyverneSien



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Canon Compliant, Closeted Character, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, POV Leo McGarry, Past Relationship(s), References to Canon, Relationship Negotiation, Season/Series 03, Secret Relationship, and bartlet is like 'let's do something anyway' and leo is like 'that's a terrible idea', and then bartlet is like D:, basically bartlet and leo are gay but can't do anything about it, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-21
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-10 04:48:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,484
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27657748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SyverneSien/pseuds/SyverneSien
Summary: Jed and Leo can't be together, though not for Jed's lack of trying. Leo reminds him what happenedlasttime he kept an integral fact about himself secret from the public. Jed asks again, and Leo gives the answer Jed didn't want.“All I’m saying is that the last time you tried to keep something big a secret, everybody got pissed at you for doing so. So either come out as the first gay president or keep your hands to yourself. I wish I could have you, sir, but I just can’t,” Leo finished quietly.Jed was silent for a few moments more, before looking up and slamming his hands on the couch. “You can, god damn it, you can, Leo, I’m offering you a chance right now and you’re not taking it!” Jed exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at Leo.Leo was silent, letting Jed fume. Leo looked at him with an even stare, a hint of something that was almost pity in the twist of his lips.“I love you,” Jed said quietly.“I know,” Leo replied.
Relationships: Abbey Bartlet/Jed Bartlet, Jed Bartlet/Leo McGarry
Comments: 5
Kudos: 15





	what we will never be

Leo closed the door behind him as he entered the Oval Office, announcing himself with a call of, “Mr President.” He adjusted his tie and took a few steps further inside, waiting for Jed to notice him there. It was mid-morning, during what could be categorized as a slow day at the White House, though anywhere else it would be a freakishly nightmarish day. Leo was sure it would get busier as the day progressed. At least it was Friday, which meant CJ was tossing out all the newsroom trash, and they could control the news cycle until the next week.

“Ah, Leo.” Jed Bartlet, the POTUS himself, looked over at him with a small smile. He got up and made his way around the desk, gesturing for Leo to sit down in one of the chairs. “Please, sit.”

Leo took the seat across from Jed, feeling apprehensive. “What’s this about, sir?” He wasn’t in any particular hurry, but Jed had a habit of calling him in without telling him why - and for good reason, it was usually some level of classified. In any case, Leo liked to cut to the chase.

Jed pursed his lips. “Well…” he started, sounding multiple kinds of nervous, and Leo frowned. “Leo, my dearest friend. You know how much I care for you. You’re the best damn Chief of Staff I could have asked for. You-”

“You don’t talk this way unless you want something from me,” Leo grumbled, fully aware that he had just interrupted the President of the United States mid-sentence. “With all due respect, sir, get to the point.”

Jed cleared his throat for a frighteningly long time and Leo stared at him, unamused. “Leo, I’ve been thinking,” he finally said, “about how things used to be. You know, before all this political nonsense, when we used to-”

“I thought we’d agreed when you started running that we would never talk about that again,” Leo interjected sharply. “You’re married to a woman, sir, and being… homosexual… isn’t exactly  _ popular _ in this country.” He paused. “And especially after New York.”

“After New York, ha.” Jed scoffed. “What happened in New York was nothing we should have to be ashamed of. Anyway, my wife wouldn’t care. I married a lesbian for a reason, Leo.” Jed went on before Leo could reply. “And I know you already suspected that, because you know I’m not mean enough to lead on a straight woman.”

Leo sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “I can’t believe you’re suggesting what I think you’re suggesting, sir,” he said. “Please tell me this isn’t-”

“Leo, we work in one of the most secure places in the world! Nobody will notice if you’re visiting me in the residence or if you’re called to my office by yourself because that already happens,” Jed explained. “Abbey will help us keep it hushed up. I don’t even have to tell her that it’s you, either, just that I’m seeing someone and she’ll do what she can. Nobody has to know. Nobody  _ will _ know. It’s not that big of a deal, Leo.”

“Not that big of a-” Leo shook his head and looked away for a moment. “Mr President, you’re suggesting that the most powerful man in the world cheat on his wife-”

“With her consent.”

“Do you think the media would care about that part?” Leo questioned, not stopping to let Jed answer before he continued. “Cheat on his wife with a  _ man, _ who also happens to be the White House Chief of Staff! Do you remember what happened last time you tried to keep something a secret from the public?” Leo stressed, his eyebrows furrowed.

“Being gay is not the same as having MS,” Jed said haughtily. He regarded Leo with an exasperated expression as if he couldn’t believe Leo was fighting with him on this. This just made Leo more annoyed.

“It is to some people,” Leo replied firmly. “You say we work in the most secure building in the world. I say that yes, it’s secure when it comes to state secrets, but you know how gossip gets around… anything we do or say is thoroughly documented, sir, it’s a miracle nothing from ‘how things used to be’ has come out yet, same with the  _ incident _ in New York. Mr President, I don’t think it’s worth the risk.” Leo clasped his hands together, wondering how it had ever come to this.

“Leo,” Jed said, in that holier-than-thou tone he used when he thought Leo was being belligerent. “The fact that I have MS was always going to get out. People needed to be told so that they could help me if I had an episode while in office. With this, only the three of us need to know - and Abbey won’t even know it’s you, I already said that.” Jed leaned towards Leo.  _ “Nobody will notice.” _

“What about Charlie?” Leo pointed out. “He’s got access to the office even when you’re in the middle of a meeting. What if someone arrives and he opens the door to tell you while we’re, I don’t know, kissing or doing whatever you-”

“We’re not making out in the Oval Office,” Jed reassured him with a roll of his eyes, as if it had been obvious.

“He’s got access to the residence, too,” Leo continued. “And CJ? She would have to be told so that she could make sure the reporters didn’t pick up on anything. Margaret’s got a habit of barging into rooms as well, and if you’re going to tell Charlie, CJ, and Margaret so that they keep their mouths shut if they  _ do _ see anything, then Toby, Sam, and Josh should be told as well so that they’re not being left out, and you know Margaret can’t keep her mouth shut so Donna too, plus…” Leo stopped, knowing Jed understood his point. “All I’m saying is that the last time you tried to keep something big a secret, everybody got pissed at you for doing so. So either come out as the first gay president or keep your hands to yourself.”

Jed sighed and got up to walk around behind the couch. Leo stood as well, out of respect, and watched as Jed put his hands on the back of the sofa and hung his head.

“I wish I could have you, sir, but I just can’t,” Leo finished quietly.

Jed was silent for a few moments more, before looking up and slamming his hands on the couch. “You can, god damn it, you can, Leo, I’m offering you a chance right now and you’re not taking it!” Jed exclaimed, pointing an accusatory finger at Leo.

Leo was silent, letting Jed fume. He knew the president was only mad because he was right. Leo looked at him with an even stare, a hint of something that was almost pity in the twist of his lips.

“I love you,” Jed said quietly.

“I know,” Leo replied.

“I need you.”

“I know.”

“I will never be happy without you.”

“I know.” Leo shook his head. “And I’m your Chief of Staff, and your best friend, and the man who will support you no matter what.” Leo hesitated. “You’re being selfish, sir.”

“Men are selfish creatures,” Jed responded evenly, coming back to sit down again. Leo remained standing, watching the president put his head in his hands. “After New York, I…”

“New York was years ago,” Leo reminded him. “You have another campaign to worry about. After you get elected and term out… then we can talk again, Mr President.” He deflated slightly, managing a small smile but it quickly turned into a frown.

Jed looked resigned. “Okay,” he replied. “Okay.” He waved his hand dismissively. “You can go.”

As Leo turned back towards the door to his office, he paused and said, “I’m sorry.”

The president was silent for a moment, then stood up and went after Leo. “No, I’m sorry, Leo, I shouldn’t have-” he started, reaching out to Leo but stopping himself. “Damn it.”

“If you weren’t the President of the United States, I might have had a different answer for you,” Leo said. Then he took a step back towards Jed and pulled his friend in for a hug. “Go win the presidency back and worry about your love life later, sir.”

Jed broke the hug and held Leo at arm’s length, regarding him with a smile. “We’ve wasted enough time. I think you have a meeting with the senior staff to arrange, and I have some reports to stop ignoring.” He clapped Leo on the shoulder, expression tainted with a hint of sadness for a few seconds as he looked at his friend, then turned away and it was gone.

“Thank you, Mr President,” Leo said with a respectful tip of his head, and he left the Oval Office thinking about New York.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first West Wing fic and I came up with the plot at... 10 pm last night, so any and all feedback is appreciated!  
> Thank you for reading, I have no idea if I will write more but feel free to check out my other fics :P


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